How I Think "The Ballad of John and Yoko" Went Down

Late one night, weeks ago or so, I was up and listening to Hey Jude with a friend. When the song “The Ballad of John and Yoko” came on, I had my own idea of how it all went down. I had the background knowledge that only John and Paul were the only ones playing on the record. George and Ringo were off doing something that wasn't Beatles-related, how lazy? Anyways, this had gotten me thinking: hey, just Paul and John, that couldn't have been too civil? But what if it been like if they were more friends and Yoko wasn't there. That's something to think about. Sure, I don't go into detail about the actual recording, just the moments leading up to it. And this is how I assumed it went down, something like this- also I assume there's a phone call involved:

--THE TELEPHONE CALL--

SCENE: John Lennon is making a phone call to Paul McCartney about a song idea. Though I’m not sure where he is, but he's probably with Yoko, no doubt. Of course he's probably in bed.

JOHN

[dials number]

“Come on, pick up.”

[looks at his pocket watch and muttering to himself]

“Pick up.”

[sounding even more impatient then before]

CUT TO: Paul McCartney's swing '60s flat and he's wearing his sweater vest from Magical Mystery Tour, because that's what '60s Paul McCartney wears, always. To where he's about to sit down at the table, after having a long day of being Paul McCartney. And he's just about to enjoy his evening meal of Chinese take-out. Maybe Linda's there, but who knows. I'm pretty skeptical that she is.

[phone rings]

PAUL

[looks at the phone and looks down at his meal]

(sighs)

[phone continues to ring and looks back at the phone]

[stuffs food into mouth and answers phone]

“'ello.” (mumbled)

CUT BACK

JOHN

“Paul, I got an idea for a song.”

CUT TO: Paul

PAUL

“Who is this?”

CUT BACK

JOHN

“John.”

“Call up George and the other one.”

“This song must be recorded, immediately!”

CUT TO: Paul

PAUL

“Oh. It's you, John.”

[pause]

“Well, They're both out on 'oliday.”

CUT BACK

JOHN

“Oh, shit!”

[awkward silence]

“Um...” (dragged out) “You wanna do it ourselves?”

CUT TO: Paul

PAUL

“Ah yeah, I do!” (sounds super excited)

FADES OUT

INTERTITLE: 9 Hours of Recording and Mixing Later