Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '12

 Well, as the influence of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson was brought up a week or two ago… hmm... I wonder which one that could have been? This had gotten me thinking, days later, about an idea for a book. Well a continuation of a book, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '12. Note: it’s similar to Thompson's only by the title; with the only exception being the 1, and that it would be more focused on the GOP candidates. I’m not saying the other side of the spectrum won't be interesting, Barack Obama. Like the Harry Nilsson's penned song “One,” which states: “one is the loneliest number.” Now let's bring this back to politics; Obama is just one on the campaign trail, where as Republicans are bringing back the party in the Republican Party. There's like eight or so, and they come with their own personalities.


This forthcoming election will be much more of a circus than that back in 1972. Just look at the characters involved. I mean come on, the characters pretty much write themselves; not much creativity that would go into them. It's almost as if they’re three-dimensional. It’s almost as if they are real. Not to mention, I don't even if a fiction writer could come up with better characters than this.

This lopsided version of the X-Men wouldn’t be anywhere without their Prof. X. Their Charlie to their Angels, their “Dr. No,” would be Ron Paul. Old and frail, Ron hikes up his depends every morning and goes to town. Who'da thunk it that a retro speaker of the house, who happens to be a dinosaur enthusiast, be running? Sure he's got his problems with homosexuals, but really, what Republican candidate doesn't? Not to worry, just like Anita Bryant expects no pie, Newt got all glittered. Yeah, I really think after that he would have a change of heart. I’m not one to point fingers, but it seems to me that Rick Santorum doesn't like most things in this modern age, so I question why he’s even running during these times. Michele Bachmann isn't just there for sex appeal, and her deep metaphors, and inaccurate portrayal of history, and off the wall quotes; she's there for the female vote. Of course, not to be outdone ladies, line up and ride the Herman Cain Train; he'll even pay! I assume for a ticket or something. Well seriously, the sensual Herman Cain just loves the ladies; remember he chose it. Oh noes! I have forgotten Rick Perry. I've got one question for Jon Huntsman: who are you? Sure, out this ragamuffin spirited team, there's only one candidate that I think actually has a chance and it is probably Mitt Romney. Maybe one thing better would be a cat wearing a monocle; that would be fancy.

Then of course in this time and age, I highly doubt that one could actually follow around candidates like the Grateful Dead. Hang on, I'm going to modernize this a bit (well at least up to the nineties, so there isn't any “Wikipedia-ing” going on.) It would be the same as Phish. Wait, do kids still listen to Phish? That's with or without the added ingredients. Anyways, the point I'm getting at is following someone, even for pure journalism purposes, could be construed as stalking. But still this would an experience. Say, I wouldn't have minded doing this for the experience paper.

Please make note that this was written before Herman Cain actually came to the realization that he wasn't going to win with his scandals; only second to Penn State.