Fear and Loathing in Subway

It's typical that my sister and I weren't going to indulge ourselves with food that had gone through the “freezer process.” However, there were three Subway gift cards. We were unsure of how much was on any of them, so just to be safe we grabbed the few and took off. In fact, this was the first time I've been in Subway since September. Correction: this was first time I've ordered something there since August. It wasn't nostalgic or anything. Come to think about it, there's only one person that I would know who would get nostalgia from going back to Subway.

Anyways, Rachel and I walked in and... Oh noes! A line. Yea, there was a line of all things, especially on a Packer game day. I thought it was some sort of bleedin' religion in Wisconsin. Not to mention we were both “cellphoneless.” Boy was that odd, not being able to check the time or actually tweet. Let alone receive updates about the game. It had this feeling of being very isolated from the world. So what better to amuse ourselves than by doing “Seinfeld-esque” humor. Or at least I had viewed it like that. Scratch that, that's probably just how I make small talk.

Rachel and I had this witty banter getting back and forth about the gift cards. “What if all the gifts cards are expired?” I jokingly said. Continuing on this tread Rachel said, “What if all the pin numbers were scratched?” Humorous isn't it? The next best thing was to read the backs of the cards. It said to treat it like cash, and that one could register it online. “Oh here's something: it expires after 36 months, or unless stated otherwise.” “What's ‘or stated otherwise?’” I questioned. Actually I found out, though it’s more of an observation, that the line consisted of only one family. Who knew that the Duggars were in town?

The real obstacle is probably knowing what one wants. I assume it’s like a batter: either it's a swing and a hit or a swing and a miss. Gee, look at me using a sport's reference; it's like I'm growing up or something. Mentally preparing myself for the task ahead, I thought to myself: “Meatball footlong on Italian herb and cheese,” “meatball footlong on Italian herb and cheese,” “meatball footlong on Italian herb and cheese,” over and over in my head. Then the big drop came. It hits you like a brick wall. I couldn't come up with anything but “um.” Believe me, I wasn't acting or anything to make the story any cooler. Maybe that's just a part of our society, where we can't go through the assembly line without saying one “um.”

The rest was pretty straight forward. Well, expect for the bearded virgin sandwich artist. It was as if he massaging the meat, which later turned into molesting it. A little OCD much? Just put the damn meat on the sandwich! Who cares if the meat looks or is comfortable? It's meat, it will be fine. Then this isn't complete without the bearded employee struggling to close the sandwich. It was almost as if it was being difficult or a challenge. During his personal wrestle with sandwich, I had given a classic “Wyrembeck glare.”

Does anyone else find Subway's slogan, “Eat Fresh,” the least bit ironic?

Nude Model

 It wasn't a surprise for me or anyone in the art class that there was going to be a nude model on Monday. I assume the purpose of this was for the class to study the human form from life. It was probably much more than studying the female figure. Her physique was young and thin. I shall leave it at that. Moving on, there was one thing that I had very much enjoyed about this whole project. It was that we had returned to using an actual drawing utensil. Oh, how much I do like using charcoal. The last several weeks we had been using an eraser, grease crayons, and ink brushes and all to draw. All of which has been the disappointing part of the class, kinda the low point.

I think I may have explained drawing with an eraser, so yeah. Grease crayons were crayons designed for drawing on cows. And this was for a value only drawing and was very much like painting. It was the same with the next: the ink brush. The ink brush was just as it sounds: a brush used to “draw” with ink. Wait. I take that back; drawing in one-point and two-point perspective were the all-time low. True, it's always good to follow the laws of perspective. It was just too organized for me.


Not only were we going back a legitimate drawing utensil, but we just happened to be allowed to gesture draw; a storm of nothing but lines and perfect mistakes. Note: this is all being played to The Supremes' Where Did Our Love Go, Adam Green's Jacket Full of Danger, and Neil Young's On the Beach. At least it was from my own collection, in order to broaden the class's musical horizons. And Uebelherr had played some of his stuff. Anyways, not to mention my class took very well to Jacket Full of Danger, I was rather impressed that they were actually listening to the lyrics this time.


Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked. I should give the model some chops. I mean, remaining still for thirty to forty minutes per pose. I suppose I need I get to my original point, which is she had quite a knowledge of food science- well, something like that. I was impressed. You see, she had brought a treat for the whole class: homemade marshmallows. Also, they were flavored. There were mocha, root beer, and apple pie. Expect they weren't made with corn syrup. Then she had further explained that most, but not all, farmers use corn to get cows pudgier a lot faster. So all in all I had surprisingly learned something that I won't have thought I would learn in art, or from a model.

Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '12

 Well, as the influence of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson was brought up a week or two ago… hmm... I wonder which one that could have been? This had gotten me thinking, days later, about an idea for a book. Well a continuation of a book, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail '12. Note: it’s similar to Thompson's only by the title; with the only exception being the 1, and that it would be more focused on the GOP candidates. I’m not saying the other side of the spectrum won't be interesting, Barack Obama. Like the Harry Nilsson's penned song “One,” which states: “one is the loneliest number.” Now let's bring this back to politics; Obama is just one on the campaign trail, where as Republicans are bringing back the party in the Republican Party. There's like eight or so, and they come with their own personalities.


This forthcoming election will be much more of a circus than that back in 1972. Just look at the characters involved. I mean come on, the characters pretty much write themselves; not much creativity that would go into them. It's almost as if they’re three-dimensional. It’s almost as if they are real. Not to mention, I don't even if a fiction writer could come up with better characters than this.

This lopsided version of the X-Men wouldn’t be anywhere without their Prof. X. Their Charlie to their Angels, their “Dr. No,” would be Ron Paul. Old and frail, Ron hikes up his depends every morning and goes to town. Who'da thunk it that a retro speaker of the house, who happens to be a dinosaur enthusiast, be running? Sure he's got his problems with homosexuals, but really, what Republican candidate doesn't? Not to worry, just like Anita Bryant expects no pie, Newt got all glittered. Yeah, I really think after that he would have a change of heart. I’m not one to point fingers, but it seems to me that Rick Santorum doesn't like most things in this modern age, so I question why he’s even running during these times. Michele Bachmann isn't just there for sex appeal, and her deep metaphors, and inaccurate portrayal of history, and off the wall quotes; she's there for the female vote. Of course, not to be outdone ladies, line up and ride the Herman Cain Train; he'll even pay! I assume for a ticket or something. Well seriously, the sensual Herman Cain just loves the ladies; remember he chose it. Oh noes! I have forgotten Rick Perry. I've got one question for Jon Huntsman: who are you? Sure, out this ragamuffin spirited team, there's only one candidate that I think actually has a chance and it is probably Mitt Romney. Maybe one thing better would be a cat wearing a monocle; that would be fancy.

Then of course in this time and age, I highly doubt that one could actually follow around candidates like the Grateful Dead. Hang on, I'm going to modernize this a bit (well at least up to the nineties, so there isn't any “Wikipedia-ing” going on.) It would be the same as Phish. Wait, do kids still listen to Phish? That's with or without the added ingredients. Anyways, the point I'm getting at is following someone, even for pure journalism purposes, could be construed as stalking. But still this would an experience. Say, I wouldn't have minded doing this for the experience paper.

Please make note that this was written before Herman Cain actually came to the realization that he wasn't going to win with his scandals; only second to Penn State.